MARRIAGE MONDAYS: July 9 - Fighting Fairly

I am posting for Marriage Monday a few days early because I am going to be away with my boys for a week! I am not planning to have Internet access (which I think is a good thing), but you never know.

I thought that I would take inspiration from some articles that I am receiving by feed to choose a theme this week. Fighting Fairly seemed like a good topic because I think it is such an important topic in our marriages. Not only is it important, but it is a special skill that can actually improve your relationship and increase your chances of success (exponentially!)

Article: How To Fight Fair in Your Marriage
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The way a married couple fights can often tell psychologists more than what they fight about. If done correctly, conflict and healthy, fair fighting, can strengthen a marriage.



Tips:
1. Don't let little things that bother you build up until one of you explodes the issue into a large fight. That's not fighting fair in your marriage.
2. If you are angry about something and don't try to talk about it with your spouse within 48 hours, let it go. Otherwise, you are not fighting fair.
3. If your spouse doesn't want to discuss the matter, set an appointment within the next 24 hours to have your fair fight.
4. Fighting fair means you know what the issue is. Then, both of you stick to the subject.
5. Keep your fight between the two of you. Don't bring in third parties like your mother-in-law, his best friend, or your children.
6. Fighting fair means you don't hit below the belt.
7. Fighting fair means you don't bring up past history.
8. Fighting fair means no name calling. Even endearing terms and pet names can be hurtful when you are using a sarcastic tone.
9. Be careful how you use humor. Laughter is good, but teasing can be misinterpreted and can be hurtful.
10. Listen to one another fully while you fight. This includes watching body language. Look at one another while you speak.
11. Don't interrupt during your fight.
12. Fighting fair means you don't blame one another make accusations.
13. Try to use 'I' sentences instead of 'you' sentences.
14. If the two of you are not extremely angry, try to hold hands while talking during your fight.
15. Be open to asking for forgiveness and being willing to forgive.

Well, this is a short blurb and not as personal as I would like for Marriage Mondays - but I will pick up upon my return. Would still love to hear from you on ways that you will commit to doing something to improve your relationship this week. Such small steps can seem insignicant, but they are anything but. Take a chance and turn a new leaf in your marriage today!