PARENTING HELP: Bedtime for Toddlers

Well, here is a topic that I have been meaning to write about for a while now -- bedtime and sleeping for toddlers and babies! Most of you who are parents will have had some experience with toiling over what you should, could or should not be doing when it comes to trying to get your child or children on track when it comes to bedtime and SLEEP!!!

We have probably had an average experience with this with both of our children. Actually, I think we've probably got it pretty good with our second - but I only have our first to compare to. Any way you look at it, parents want sleep. In our case, we would preferably like more sleep than we are actually getting on the average night. This is due to a couple of factors, mainly:

1. bedtime for toddler is stressful and draining - ends up being later than we'd like
2. usually up once a night to comfort toddler - sometimes by just climbing in bed with him
3. baby is still up twice a night
4. toddler or baby could be up anytime after 6:00, though we often get lucky with a little later than that

What I want to actually post is some specific suggestions that the Kid's Help Line provided me with when I called about the stress of getting our toddler to bed. Looks like it will have to wait til tomorrow...sorry!

Back again to post the suggestions given by the Kid's Help Line.

1. Keep bedtime routine simple and consistent

2. Ask yourself if the child is getting too much sleep during the day or if they are perhaps over-tired

3. Perhaps spend more time winding down in the evening

4. If child cries out for one parent after lights go out, perhaps they need a little more time and assurance from that person. (In our case, our toddler cries out for me from his bed or from the gate.)

5. Give physical reassurance every night. This can be hugs or kisses or whatever.

6. Do your routine, say goodnight and do not linger. Lingering at the child's bedside tells them that you don't have confidence in their ability to get to sleep.

There may have been more, but I can't think of them right now. I can tell you that this was very useful information for us. I thought I had read it all and tried it all -but the suggestions about physical reassurance and not lingering were important new lessons for us. For physical reassurance and routine, we now add a little routine to the very end of bedtime where we kiss our toddlers body parts one by one and say "goodnight toes, see you tomorrow toes", "goodnight hands, can't wait to see you in the morning hands" and so on. Apparently kids crave this extra physical attention on night and for us, this is a fun way to add a loving touch to this concept. Our child especially likes it when we do this together and each of us kisses one hand or finds a new, silly body part to say goodnight too.

The other suggestions that we are trying is having me read one of the stories. Generally I have not been doing bedtime with our toddler (except to say goodnight) because I am with the kids all day and will often spend the time either putting the baby to bed or just doing chores such as sorting laundry or whatever. I used to look at putting our toddler to bed as a good way for my husband to interact with him, since he really only gets a couple hours in the evening. In the end, I think that there was truth to him needing a bit more time with me to just cuddle and say goodnight.

The last thing that we were told was to leave the room and then if we have to go back in - try the end of the routine again -- and just leave the room again. For us, this means going back in for another "tuck in" and goodnight kisses. We were told to stay calm at all times - this isn't always easy when things get really drawn out, but we are trying. Makes sense to keep things quiet and calm, but again, sometimes easier said than done. Bedtime has been a major stress for us for a while. I can report that it has been much better lately. I have already had some good suggestions on this post and hope that perhaps moving bedtime even earlier will work for us. I am wondering how long other toddlers (who ARE good at getting to bed at night) are sleeping during the day????

Please feel free to post a comment. I am sure this topic will come up again over and over in our household, and it would be nice to be able to browse through the helpful hints and reminders. Have a great day.